blog appropriately named.

darkness closing in.
wrapping around.
snuggling into the light.
it is dimmer.
so tired.
so.awake.
painfully.
clawing for an answer.
wanting to label all of it.
knowing.seeing.feeling.
the failure.
to grasp.to hold.to clutch.
nothing. silence. black.
all is gone. nothing. is.left.
broken heart. painful death.
painfully.
all.is.gone.
all.is.stripped.
away.
dawn is breaking.
a new light to replace the darkness.
new hope to answer the silence.
no more failure. no more pain.
all.is.right.
all.is.gained.
Jesus.
has.
come.
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i just want to write. i can't find my journal so i turn to my keys. at this late hour typing is very trying- mistakes every word. maybe i should leave the mistakes, let you decipher what all of this means. when i see beauty i crave God. i think that is special. it makes me want to revel is his presence all day. all night. then in an instant it is gone. the world has replaced it self, again. the chief authority. well i break that now.. Now! it will no longer rule my life. no longer have say it what i do. i will remind myself of this decree tomorrow, because the world will take over again. my body is a dying sinful thing. my soul wanting to do good, and my body fighting it every step of the way. "i do not do the good i want to do, but what i hate i do." thank you paul for your honesty, and vulnerability. goal i want to be more vulnerable. i ask and seek for people to be vulnerable with me all the time... i should do the same. goal: a gentle and quiet spirit. i live with a girl that has one. it is beautiful, and i admire it, and love that about her. i pray that i am more like her. God is calling my heart and i will answer him. when he calls me i feel as though i have to let it out of me. there is this intensity inside me that i cannot explain but i have to get it out- hints this blog.